She used a rag and some polish to cut through the tarnish when the lamp began glowing red and became to hot to hold. Her hand was inexplicably glued to the handle however causing her to scream and try to pry her fingers free as the lamp billowed red smoke so thick it was impossible to see through it at all. Just as she felt like breaking her fingers just to get them free the smoke suddenly centralized and condensed into the form of a muscular man with MC hammer pants, gold bracelets and a top knot. His skin was a dull red, like the smoke that had fill the room earlier as he stood crossing his arms and staring down at the woman. Kelly had released the lamp finally and held her wrist in her other hand, afraid to touch the skin on her hand for fear it might fall off. “who the fuck are you and how did you get into my house”.The topless man gave her a sigh as he nonchalantly explained, “Bitch *you* called *me*.”Kelly looked worried and confused as she gave the well built red man a couple. There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,For Menzies was in the Parliament in that land where we were born,Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one’s seen him since.We danced to ‘Little Darlin,’ and sang to ‘Stagger Lee’And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to seeA boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.We didn’t have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,And Tarzan was a loner whose co-star was a chimp.We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,And Oprah.
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